نمایش نسخه قابل چاپ
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Photo Day
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice from the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's still old, nasty, and wrinkled
Grandfatherly AdviceMy Grandfather was one of the wisest men I ever knew. I still remember his only advice to me concerning women.
"Ray," he said, "Trust me on this one, even if you do eventually understand women, you'll never believe it anyway
New Cell PhoneA young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband.
"Hi hun," he says, "how do you like your new phone?"
His wife replied, "I just love. It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
The blonde replied, "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
تقدیم به همه بچه های خوب نخبگان جوان
موضوع: فعال نگاه داشتن اصطلاحات در ذهن
a rolling stone gathers no moss:
used to say that someone who often changes jobs, moves to different places etc is not able to have any permanent relationships or duties
خب این به فارسی میشه چی؟؟؟؟؟؟ همه کاره و هیچ کاره کسی که زیاد از این شاخه به اون شاخه میپره
به فرض که اینو اینجا دیدم چکار کنم که تو ذهنم اکتیو بمونه و پسیو یا غ فعال نشه
گفتم بذار باهاش یه داستان بسازم
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اونروز خسته به خونه برگشتم که دیدم داییم خونه است
بعد از سلام و احوال پرسی معمول گفت از کار چه خبر ؟ گفتم هیچی همین دو روز پیش خودمو منتقل کردم به بخش بازاریابی
با تعجب پرسید تو که تازه جابجا شده بودی
گفتم خب دیگه فکر میکنم جای جدیدم بهتره
با لبخند گفت: موفق باشی ولی از این شاخه به اون شاخه پریدن برات ثمری نداره
I was just got home when I saw my uncle sitting in the dinning room
after giving typical compliments,he asked about work
well,I just moved to marketing dept,I said
but guess you had just changed your office, he said surprisingly
guess the new dept is a better place for me,I said indifferently
well, wish you luck but remember
a rolling stone gathers no moss
,he said with a smile
خب برای امروز کافیه اما قبل ار رفتن
لختی اندیشه
کولی امروز تو دستم خوند:
یه زمستون سخت تو راهه
من دلم با تو قرصه اما تو...؟
تو دلت چند مرده حلاجه
Mad Cows
Two cows are chatting in a field. One says to the other, "Are you worried by this mad cow disease?"
The second cow says, "It doesn't affect me - I'm a rabbit!"
Noisy Neighbor
Young Jock McTavish from Glasgow went to study at a university inEngland and was living in the hall of residence. After a week his mother rang him. "How do you get along with the other students, Jock?" she asked.
"Well," he replied, "they are terribly noisy people. The one on one side keeps banging his head on the wall. The one on the other side screams all night."
"Oh Jock!" said his mother. "How do you manage to put up with such noisy neighbours?"
"I don't do anything. I just sit here quietly, playing my bagpipes!"
Paddy's WoodPaddy Fitzgerald had worked in a timber yard for five years and all that time he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bother him and he went to confession to repent.
He told the priest. "Father, it's five years since my last confession, and I've been stealing wood from the timber yard all that time."
"I understand my son," says the priest. "Can you make a Novena?"
Fitzgerald said, "Father, if you have the plans, I've got the timber!"